Hello beautiful soul!
Currently, I am in my Italian favourite city, Rome.
Rome has a special place in my heart because it represents change and freedom, as this is where my journey of healing started in my early 20s.
I am emotionally attached to this city where I spent 3 years of my life where I made the important decision to heal my emotions, my soul, and life. I knew that change had to happen, and even though I was so happy to finally work on myself, on the other hand, I was scared!
The important part of the journey I took was that I really wanted to go through with it, no matter how scary, how painful and enjoyable it was going to get.
One of the most important ingredients of a path of change is the desire to build, rediscover or cultivate unconditional love for oneself.
Love is always involved when you talk about change & happiness - whether it is the love for yourself, for others, for your work, or for your life in general.
It is for all these reasons together that I found myself imagining the paths of change as love stories, and today I want to share my thoughts with you.
I have seen many paths of change start off on the right foot, just as lovers do at the beginning of their relationship, when they idealise their partner, stripping them of all their flaws and only embracing their qualities and positive traits, therefore the couple becomes a source of absolute happiness.
Everything tastes like hope, well-being, lightness, trust for the future.
Like when you start a process of change you feel ecstatic, happy, and you have a great desire to put things right, and often you have the certainty of succeeding in a very short time.
Then, the romance grows, and there comes a time when the enthusiasm starts to wane; suddenly in the eyes of the lover, the flaws of the partner are clearly visible and also how different they are from the other.
In this phase, many couples separate or emotionally (and/or physically) distance themselves from each other.
The moment of disillusionment comes, and there is the need to change the source of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Reality kicks in and change doesn't seem so exciting anymore, it feels real and too scary to face.
Therefore, some paths of change stop here. Others continue.
Those who stay together are ready to find their own identity within the relationship, and they can find themselves and their autonomy outside the relationship, specifically by setting boundaries and dedicating space for some ME time.
Similarly, in a process of change, the time comes to experiment in the real world, using the awareness achieved and being ready to face and embrace whatever comes their way.
After experiencing themselves outside the relationship, partners return to each other with the awareness that they can preserve their own space and individuality, they can devote to both themselves and to their relationship, seeking support from the other (and offering it) and letting themselves go without the risk of losing themselves within it.
This is the phase of harmonisation (balance).
In a process of change, a person feels free to get to know themselves better, taking responsibility for their needs, emotions, strengths, and desires.
While the couple is enjoying what is called the harmonisation phase, (experiencing full understanding as a couple, appreciating and supporting each other and sharing common life projects), the journey of change is coming to an end.
The purpose has been achieved.
Change is just like a happy love story, which is not only made up of smiles and high hopes but also of obstacles to overcome, working towards your goal, and the responsibility to choose how to contribute to making your life fulfilling, welcoming, nurturing, and safe.
Thank you for reading this far.
I would love to hear from you! If you are on a path of change (not necessarily therapeutic), or, simply, if you would like to share your thoughts on this post, feel free to comment below.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
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