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Resistance vs Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is about embracing yourself

Self-acceptance is about embracing yourself as you are right now, regardless of your past, what situations you have been through and what other people think of you. It is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person others wish you to be.

The change from a situation in the direction of a better situation starts with the acceptance of the current condition.

Resistance to a situation or state that is not accepted creates tension, stress and blocks the possibility of change by continuing to perpetuate the unwanted state.

Acceptance is learned through awareness. Through acceptance, we begin to free ourselves from resistance, from fear and discomfort and from those weakening emotions that prevent joy and happiness from emerging.

Often we are trapped in past experiences of suffering rather than being free and thus preventing us from exploring new opportunities for our future. We do this in a conscious and unconscious way.

Resistance and fear prevent us from moving forward and exploring new opportunities.

Why do we spend our lives in resistance rather than acceptance?

The identity we have created: “to think that we are not up to certain desired situations” is maintained by our internal dialogue that is repeated over the years, by authoritative voices such as parents, teachers and also our partners who tell us stories about who we are and how we are and how we are supposed to be and then the same people will judge us because we are not modelled to some predefined standard.

Resistance creates stress, suffering and dissatisfaction and it does not lead to change! Self-acceptance leads to change! Acceptance becomes the key to stop repeating the same old patterns, thoughts, stories and behaviours.

If we want our life to change, we have to change our mindset and what we tell ourselves:

  1. a) Why do we feel that we are not adequate for a certain situation or that we are supposed to be like somebody else?
  2. b) Who told us that?
  3. c) Why do we believe it?

Each of us creates and lives our own reality which is created by our experiences and beliefs. What we see and feel is something that is programmed within us.

Listen to your feelings because only you can know what is right for you!

Let yourself be guided by what your gut instinct is telling you.

By letting go of the limiting beliefs that you have built up over the years, you allow deeper wisdom to guide you towards the solution.

Let’s see together the process of the two different mental / emotional attitudes:

* Resistance ⇒ Suffering ⇒ Closure ⇒ Loss of Energy⇒ Situations that are repeated without being resolved.

* Acceptance ⇒ Freedom ⇒ Expansion ⇒ Increase of Energy ⇒ Situations that change for the better and resolve.

What is the mechanism that maintains the situations of scarcity, dissatisfaction, and suffering? Resistance.

What is the switch that enables us to live outside the trap of repetitive patterns? Acceptance.

How does the resistance to accepting ourselves affect our physical body?

Resisting the life that we are meant to live causes stress.

If your mind is stressed, be reassured that this information is going from your brain to all of the cells in your body.

Stress is not only in the mind but it can cause all sort of physical ailments such as an upset stomach, diarrhoea and constipation, frequent colds and infections due to a weak immune system, it can also cause headaches, general aches and pains and a rapid heartbeat.

Do you allow yourself to be yourself?

Do you accept yourself as you are?

This is a simple question that many people find difficult to answer.

How do we love and accept ourselves when we are not happy, when we feel guilty, when we cannot find love, when we are alone, when we are not able to express what we feel? How do we do it?

All things seem difficult at first, but once you start, you will find yourself experiencing a new positive feeling that you will not want to give up anymore.

But what does “accepting” mean? What do you have to do in practice?

1) Do not compare yourself to others, nobody is better or worse than others, we are just all different and unique.

2) Free yourself from the past and the thoughts that oppress your mind. The only moment that matters is now! Letting go and learning to forgive yourself and others is the best way to free yourself. Let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgements that you have placed upon yourselves.

3) Do not look for perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist, you are amazing just the way you are. Finding and enjoying the positive aspects of yourself, your current situation and learning from your mistakes will help you to be more at peace, and also the change towards what we desire will be easier.

4) Practice gratitude every day. Thank yourself for just being you. Celebrate who you are and all your achievements, be grateful for all that you have in your life. Practising gratitude every day will help you to find inner peace and develop a genuine love and appreciation for yourself.

5) Turn your view on what you call “imperfections” into beautiful and unique qualities. Changing how you see yourself is key to self-acceptance. Start to love any single part of your mind and body. Love who you are, no matter what other people think you should be. It’s time to be true to yourself and to find the happiness that you deserve.

“When we fight against a barrier, it does not weaken, but strengthens; but when we recognise it and accept it, it begins to disappear. We cannot overcome something that we deny the existence of” 

Love, Carlotta


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