Hello beautiful soul!
What we have experienced in the past leaves an imprint in our mind and the common thread of most of our memories is not about the events themselves, but the meaning they have for us.
Here is an example: two people were abandoned by their parents when they were very young. They both suffered trauma, but one of them undertook a process to understand how and why it happened.
A few years later, this person remembers it as a sad event, but knows and understands the circumstances under which it occurred. The other person, who has not 'digested' the experience, has only vague and imprecise memories, but also a strong feeling of pain and resentment.
It is never about what we have experienced, but more about how we have processed it.
A large part of the reasons for feeling anxious, angry or sad, lie in the past. The events that have not been processed continue to be a negative factor in life.
Memory plays a very important role in our lives. The past is actually a very complex concept because even if it has already been experienced, it can significantly influence the present, even if we are not aware of it.
We can liken life experiences to a building.
First, you build the foundations and then one on top of the other, the various floors. If the foundations are not well built, one of the floors will probably start to crumble for no apparent reason, or the building as a whole may collapse in an earthquake.
The same happens to us. We build the foundations of who we are in the first years of life.
From this moment on, every life experience adds up and is interpreted according to the consciousness that has been formed in the first years of life.
If for some reason the foundations are compromised, it is possible that even in adult life we will have cracks or instability that can negatively affect one's life.
What has happened in the past can be interpreted in a more constructive and useful way through understanding. That is, what we have experienced can help us to improve or worsen depending on how we interpret it.
By nature, we tend to avoid or forget negative experiences. If we went through abandonment, rejection or a traumatic experience, we certainly tend to put it aside and try not to think about it, so as not to immerse ourselves in a chain of thoughts that conditions our emotional well-being.
However, when we do not give ourselves time to assimilate what we have experienced, we do not really forget, but instead, we keep the experience alive in our subconscious mind. This results in sadness or anxiety, feelings that seem to have no apparent explanation.
It is not so much what we have experienced that is important, but how we have structured our memory of it.
For instance, if we choose a victim perspective to interpret the facts, then we will see past experiences through the lens of self-pity. If we choose a defensive perspective, then what we have experienced will be all the more reason to distrust others or to adopt an attitude of revenge.
If we want to change our current negative situation or shift negative emotions that don't seem to go away, it is important to learn how to analyse what we have experienced. This means taking the experiences we have had and adopting a point of view that leads us to understand them. This means not only taking them into consideration but also putting ourselves in the shoes of those who have hurt us in order to understand why.
Perhaps we would discover that they did not do it out of malice or selfishness, but because of their own limitations or frustrations.
Perhaps we would understand that the best way to get justice is not to forget, but to learn to see ourselves as people who have experienced a negative event, but who also deserve to overcome it and be happy.
Let go of the past
The past exists and, in a way has contributed to making you the person you are today. But this does not mean that it should continue to influence your decisions and your life. The past has allowed you to gain experiences, but you are not just your experiences.
No matter how hard you try, you will not and cannot go back to the past to change the course of events. The only thing you can do is to accept the past, learn from it and move on.
Let it go and breathe the fresh air of freedom.
What do you think?
What past experience would you like to change your view of that will improve your wellbeing and happiness?
Feel free to comment below.
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