Hello beautiful soul!
Each of us has an inner child who wants and needs to be seen, heard, supported and loved.
Although we may not always be able or willing to hear their voice, we must learn to care for our inner child in order to heal and release emotional pain from the past.
Your inner child can be happy and carefree or sad and gloomy.
A happy inner child leads to an adult life full of positivity, dreams that can be believed to be achievable, high self-esteem, as well as self-care and self-love.
A sad and gloomy inner child, on the other hand, makes you believe that you will never be good enough, makes you think that others will never accept you as you are, and leads you to want to achieve a perfection that does not really exist.
How does one know if their problems as an adult are related to the wounds they have carried with them since childhood?
The 'wounded child' is usually impersonated by someone who, as an adult, repeats their childhood patterns of negative experiences or dysfunctional behaviour learned from adults (parents/caregivers/family members) throughout their lives. For instance, a child who was repeatedly told that they were stupid, might grow up with low self-esteem. A child who was repeatedly told to not speak up will grow up being afraid of expressing their opinion.
Almost every one of us has been through some type of trauma as a child, no matter how big or small.
These traumas might range from having your favourite toy being thrown away to being abandoned by a parent to not being heard by your mum.
The following are some examples of childhood trauma:
There are plenty of other examples of childhood trauma, which is anything that causes distress.
However, it is important to remember that our parents too, were products of their own history. Some of them have learned to provide a safer and improved upbringing, whilst others have not been able to recognise what was needed to improve their and their children’s lives. If they had known how to act differently to show us their unconditional love, they would have done so. Furthermore, we can learn from these lessons to avoid making the same mistakes as those who raised us.
Inner child work is an important process because it helps us to reconnect with the deepest part of ourselves: the inner child.
We can begin to unravel the root of many of our anxieties, phobias, insecurities, fears and traumas when we reconnect with this aspect of ourselves. This is where true healing takes place.
Through the ‘heal inner child program’, you will be amazed at what you can learn about yourself by working on your inner child, because rather than focusing on a symptom of your discomfort, you go straight to the source of the problem, revealing when a fear, phobia, or life pattern began
1. Recognise your inner conflict and become aware of your feelings.
If we want to alleviate the suffering of our inner child and provide for their needs, and finally live in joy, we need to be aware of what we are feeling. It is necessary, then, to recognise our emotions. These can be expressed by our body, for instance, trembling legs, a tight chest, knotted stomach. These are all signals that our body sends to us, and that we must learn to recognise in order to understand what causes us discomfort or pleasure.
Other important questions you can ask yourself are 'how am I feeling?' 'Am I feeling happy or sad and stressed?' 'Am I happy with my current life or is there something I wish to change?'
Based on your answers, you can become aware of what your inner child is trying to communicate with you as anytime you feel frustrated, sad, angry, etc, your inner child is telling you that something needs to be addressed.
2. Responding as a loving adult, asking questions and understanding
Once emotions have been acknowledged and accepted, it is essential to respond, with the intention to learn and grow. The voice of our inner child must then be accepted with sincerity and interest, to create empathy. It is necessary to believe in the legitimacy of our feelings, not to be afraid of them in any way and to accept any uncomfortable emotions. It is very useful to ask ourselves these questions:
What is happening?
What do I feel?
What do I need?
What is causing me this suffering?
This will stimulate you to take care of yourself, to finally engage in a constructive inner dialogue.
3. Interacting with the inner child and meeting their needs
It is possible to talk to your inner child under any circumstances.
You have to accept the answers without judgement and in an accepting way.
4. Interacting with the higher consciousness and asking for a helping hand
Here it is necessary to connect with your higher consciousness and ask for help, so as to recognise the true nature of things and understand how to act. The higher consciousness represents who you really are and contrasts with the ego (constructed personality based on false beliefs that generate insecurity in the individual). Several questions can be asked, including:
What lies behind this belief that limits me?
How can I change this belief?
How can I act with love in this circumstance?
What does my inner child need to feel loved by me at this moment?
Often the answers take time to mature and develop. But they will come.
5. Giving an active response to the needs of the inner child and the adult
This step involves loving gestures, reconciling the thoughts of the adult with the needs of the inner child. Here it is often necessary to question your whole life, which requires a certain courage and commitment. Loving gestures will be directed at our inner self, but also at the outer self. This transition will give the adult a profound sense of power, as well as the pleasure of taking care of yourself; to the child, it will give the impression of being finally free and sure of being worth much more than he/she thought before.
6. Talk to your inner child
Acknowledge your inner child and let them know you are there for them. Treat them with kindness and respect.
Some self-soothing things you might say to your inner child can include:
I love you.
I hear you.
I am sorry.
I forgive you.
Get into the habit of talking to your inner child. You can also communicate through a diary, asking them a question and then writing down the answer you feel coming up.
As children, we perceive the world very differently than we do in adulthood. Because of this, many of the things we assume we have overcome as adults may actually have left deep scars in the inner child.
Through the 'heal your inner child' program, you can learn to let go of, heal and resolve any sources of trauma that you have been unconsciously holding onto for years. This can set you free and allow you to live a life of true adulthood, emotional balance and well-being.
If yes, I have created a brand new self-paced program called 'Heal Your Inner Child' which will help you understand what Inner Child work is and why it's important, what trauma is and the beliefs formed as a result of it, learn your trigger and how they connect to events from the past, and the steps to connect with your inner child.
Click HERE to start connecting with your inner child.